Learning to play is not easy. What is also not easy is learning that there are certain auxiliary skills that must be mastered if one is to reach the goal of becoming a performing musician. No music school teaches these skills, but we all learn them by doing them. One of the first is the dreaded Cold Call. No one likes calling someone who is not expecting them and asking for something. It's important, however, to develop the calm confidence that's needed to call a stranger and do business. It doesn't even have to be gig-related to be stressful; often, when I put two students together to play, there is often an almost teenaged anxiety level about making the first contact on one or both sides involved. It's kind of cute, really, like 7th grade dating.
Here's what you need to know: music is about people and performing. Anyone in this game, from rock star to advancing student, is well-served by good people skills and a confident, friendly manner. The person you are calling is usually in the business of fielding these kinds of calls, so it's on them if they are grumpy, unreceptive, or generally unpleasant to deal with. Your call is not the problem.
One thing I found that helps me is to truly believe in whatever I am calling to sell, which is usually myself. Upon reflection, I realized why I washed out of the cover/tribute band game. In my heart, I didn't know how to convince a potential client that my band played 'Sweet Home Alabama' better than all the other bands that play 'Sweet Home Alabama.' Trying to was always stressful to me because, in my heart, I didn't want to be playing that music, was playing it only in the hopes of making money, and I didn't feel good about the whole thing. My true self is an original music person, a songwriter. That's the music I believe in, new music made by people with skin in the game. When I represent my own music and playing, I do a much better job because my confidence is real, not put on like a cheap suit. Some people can sell anything and that is a gift. I have a need to believe.
Cold calls and other non-musical music skills take practice just like playing does. In those moments of practice, remind yourself of why you're making that call and ask yourself if you're willing to let phone anxiety stand between you and your musical goals. This type of thinking usually sets my resolve, gets my game face on, and makes me pick up the phone. Music, like life, is a confidence game and a healthy ego is needed. Don't let yourself be denied.