CHEAT, BEAT, AND MISTREAT! - Mike O'Cull 




I've always listened to people talk. I learned early on that every person has a story to tell. I think that's why I love social media so much, maybe too much. I also think it's pretty amazing that people share as much of themselves as they do with the online world. I've met incredible people and had both public and private chats with them that I will never forget.  

Of course, it's fun to see all the good things that happen to people, but it's really heavy to me how deep and personal some people go in…

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MY NEXT LAST STAND: On Turning 50 - Mike O'Cull 


 

I want to find a place I can stay. I want to make my next last stand. I think I've learned all I can from my present environment and situation and now I must move on. I thought where I am now would be that stand, but it started to crumble almost from the time we got here. I tried to make the best of it, but it all turned into a difficult lesson. 

The good part is that I'm getting better within myself. My self-loathing is down, I'm accepting the things I can't change a bit better, and I'm getting better at…

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HAPPY NEW YEAR, GO F*CK YOURSELF! - Mike O'Cull 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GO FUCK YOURSELF!  

I can't approach the new year with anything but a "go fuck yourself" attitude. Now is the time to harden the fuck up and go for it. If I don't, my mind will go soft and adopt a helpless, victim mentality, I will feel sorry for myself, and nothing good will happen. These are pretty much the only two settings my mind has and how it works. Middle ground and compromise have never worked for me and, looking back, most of my problems have come from attempting them, in one way…

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SUBURBAN DOPEHEAD BLUES: A Memoir - Mike O'Cull 

Suburban Dopehead Blues 

It's a beautiful sort of confusion, a feeling of drifting, dreaming, floating away. It comes up on me like a warm cloud, like a drug should, and takes me to someplace better. I start to feel like it's all gonna be ok, and I matter. That's how you get addicted. That feeling. When I felt it the first time, I knew I was done, gone. I knew I would never get free.  

It was December of 1984, Christmas break from high school. My senior year. While my parents slept, myself and two…

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THE WALKING DEAD DELIVERS! - Mike O'Cull 

I'm not ashamed to say that I loved The Walking Dead last night. I see today that many folks didn't. It was certainly not for everybody, suitable for work, and not meant for kids, but it's horror. It's supposed to be horrific. I loved it because I am a major fan of both the horror genre and the show. I love horror because I love art and media that provokes strong emotions in me, that breaks the grip of whatever has been on my mind and pulls me into its moment, its world. Did I find it tough to watch? Of…

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REACTION TIME!! - Mike O'Cull 

I used to think that I needed to study every performer in a given style if I wanted to do it, too. That line of thinking was partly beneficial, because it kept me listening and learning as a younger man and led to my having a pretty fair baseline knowledge of the styles I've played. Now, however, I feel like I have entered another phase of my creative life that is less about study and more about inspiration and reaction. With over 40 years into music writing, performing, and recording, I feel pretty…

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THE ART AND SECRET OF MUSIC! - www.mikeocull.com 

Even though I am a music-reading player and know my theory pretty well, life has taught me that there are many different types of players, vibe is everything, and elitism is a nowhere road. Just because I read music doesn't guarantee that I will create compelling music and that someone who doesn't read will not. Now, if you want to be a hot shit hired gun player who can handle any style on any gig, you might want to get your knowledge chops together, because the people you will be working with will either…

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MUSIC, DESIRE, AND THE TRAP.  




At my beginning, there  was music and desire. That was enough. All I thought about was guitars, bands, writing songs, and performing. Then, other factors crept in, corrupting me and my pure little world. The feelings of self doubt that plague most performers started and stayed with me. My biggest fear was not being good enough. Still is, really. Trying to cope with those feelings led to to the self-medicating euphoria of drugs and booze, which were fun for a while. Soon, however, they took over my life and…

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MEAT RABBITS, BORN FOR THE STEW.  

The daytime world never wanted me. I could never find a place in it that didn't feel like torture, like prison. I was never able to buy in or believe enough to allow me to rip whole chunks off of myself in order to fit, to become part of the machine. Instead, I ran the other way to a life of no rules and deviancy. The deviants liked me, big surprise, and I have remained amongst them. They taught me that embracing that part of yourself that refuses conformity is the only way to remain sane, that is, if…

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GOT LOST, GOT FOUND! HOW I UNPACKED.  




I have always had fantasies of belonging. I've always thought it must be wonderful to feel true brotherhood, true kinship with someone or a group of someones. As the perpetual outsider only child-type that I am, that sort of thing has been hard to come by. I've never really been part of a team in that way. My life has been spent looking inside from the outside, existing on the fringes. Through almost constant contact with sociopaths in my youth, I learned to mimic the traits and emotions of those around me…

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