I've always listened to people talk. I learned early on that every person has a story to tell. I think that's why I love social media so much, maybe too much. I also think it's pretty amazing that people share as much of themselves as they do with the online world. I've met incredible people and had both public and private chats with them that I will never forget.
Of course, it's fun to see all the good things that happen to people, but it's really heavy to me how deep and personal some people go in their posts and videos. I first encountered this in chat rooms on AOL almost twenty years ago. These deep chats would happen between anonymous strangers, like people had a need to get this stuff off of themselves and couldn't do it in offline life.
Now, we do it without going anonymous on Facebook and Twitter every day. We know a lot more about the people around us than ever before. I think that makes what people share even heavier, more personal and real. For me, social media is a way to put my authentic self out into the world, not just whoever I need to be to get a gig or a person, like the old days.
It's all a big window into the lives of others and I find it both comforting and uncomfortable. My mind always compares, which I know I'd bad but it happens, and it's easy to feel uneasy about the displays of wealth and lifestyle that are always in the feed.
Beyond that, I'm often appalled at the stories of how people treat each other in relationships and families. There's so much cheating, beating, and mistreating out there anymore that I struggle to believe it, but I know it's true. People have always been assholes, but, these days, life seems to have become a lot meaner and a lot more isolating. I see men and women with no friends and lots of problems asking for someone, anyone, to just talk with them a while. I see people who have been so unlucky in life and love that they suffer from severe depression and anxiety, sometimes fatally.
I think the very act of sharing that deep level stuff with the world is an attempt at exorcising and healing from the pain of living, whether we realize it or not as we do it. If we had no interest at all in surviving our trials, we wouldn't seek out friends, chats, or support groups. The process of telling and reaching shows hope, at least to me. I know, personally, that I can't get better with a mask on. With a mask on, all I do is make excuses and recite scripts. To get better, it's got to be real, no matter how hard that is.
I respect and appreciate the people who bare their souls without fear. They inspire me to do the same. They also remind me that life can always get tougher, things can all change in an instant, and that I'm probably not as much of a dickhead as I sometimes think I am. I feel like one big mess right now, soon to be another middle aged divorcee, but the stories of strife we share with each other gives me hope that we will someday be sharing stories of better days, too.